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The Republican Mafia

(in a men's room somewhere between the north and south wings of the Capitol)

-- Eh, Don Mitch, whaddabout the democrats?..

-- F* those hard-ons. Y'knowwadI'mtalkingabout.

-- But we told Obama we was gonna compromise...

-- F* Obama...

-- Whaddabout the American public?..

-- F* the American public.  You're the Teflon Speaker... fancy suits, crocodile tears... they respeck that.

-- Whaddabout the press?..

-- F* the press.

-- Eh, we gottado something... Y'knowwadI'msaying...

-- Eh, Don Boner, paisan... I respeck your thing, you respeck my thing.  You have an interest on the south wing and I have interest is on the north. I owe a some people a favor so I'm making a request  for your help.   My associates and I don't forget who our friends are.

-- Whaddabout Krugman?  He told everybody we're blackmailing...

-- F* Krugman.  We're just extorting.  He doesn't even know the diff.

-- Err… You never said nothin about not blackmailing.

-- Fogedaboudit.  Our friends have a tax problem.  If we don't fix their problem, they gonna lose alot of money.  Whaddayathink they gonna do to us when they lose $700 billion dollars?  Whaddayathink the Koch's gonna do if they lose a billion each?   You gotta block everything on the South side until we take care of their tax problem.

-- Err…I got a little problem with my boys, they don't wanna block everything.  They wanna do something... Y'know bada bing bada boom...

-- F* your boys.

-- Whaddabout the new boys coming in?

-- F* the tea partiers.  We'll get something on them, they'll do what I... I mean we... say.

-- Whaddabout the New Start Treaty.  Pollonium Putin said some things to Larry King...

-- I fogeddedaboutdat.   That's one guy you gotta respeck...

-- Yeah, you gotta respeck the f*ing Russians.