• Increase font size
  • Default font size
  • Decrease font size
Home The Feuilleton of MilSan and MikWag The Attack of the Mercenary Camels

The Attack of the Mercenary Camels

"The military arrested 38 policemen & 22 citizens .. the NDP had paid them (the thugs) LE100 & LE200 to stage pro-Mubarak demonstrations"



The Attack of the Mercenary Camels


— The President wants you to organize fifty guys to disrupt the protest at Tahrir, — grunted the local NDP chief.

— How much is he paying?

— 10 pieces of silver.

— We’ll do it for 50.

— Do you think he is a stupid donkey?  Do it for 15.

— You are robbing me, infidel.  I lose money for less than 45.

— 20.

— No, I can’t do it.  Let the boss find some other guys by morning.

— 30.

— OK, 30 each.

— EACH!!?   You think he would sell his wife for this?

— Well, if it is of so little importance, why should I do it?

— Ok, ok.  30 each.  Grave robber!




— OK, guys, we have to disrupt the protest.  Any ideas?

— We can throw rocks…

— No, everybody does that.

— Big stones… boulders.

— Jackass!

— We can streak?

— What does it mean?

— Run naked through the protest.

— Offspring of camel dung!

— Release a cloud of locusts?

— Not bad, any other ideas?

— Let’s ride in on horses and camels, like in Lawrence of Arabia.

— Baatel! How are we going to get 50 horses past security?

— We dress them like women.

— What about the back legs?

— It can be two women carrying an oil barrel.

— OK, what about the camels?

— Maybe we don’t need camels.

— No, only a Syrian would do it without camels.

— Two tall women carrying a refrigerator?

— 10-foot tall women, donkey dropping?!!

— Sir, I have smart camels; they will find Tahrir on their own.  Nobody will suspect a stray camel.

— OK, baltagiya, we meet at 5 am for tea and finalize.  Allah Akbar.




— OK guys, here’s what we do, we ride in like in Lawrence of Arabia, all whooping and hollering.

— And then what?

— We stop.

— And then?

— The people will recognize our Arab manliness and they will feel secure and they will go home.

— What if they don’t go home?

— We ride all the way in, as far as we can, and we whip our horses and camels, and trample journalists.

— And then?

— The people will feel terror and they will flee.

— What if the people don’t feel terror?

— Then we go to plan B.

— What is a plan B?

— Throw big stones.