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Home The Feuilleton of MilSan and MikWag The Sketchy-Sketchy Feuilleton — or — it's All Happening at the Zoo

The Sketchy-Sketchy Feuilleton — or — it's All Happening at the Zoo

A new zoo in Washington opened this morning in my mind.

 

Mind you, I’m not the first to visit this thing.

 

A noisy sprawl.  Animals come and go subject to the whims of voters, except for the justice-dispensing kangaroos.

 

In the Monkey House, a 24-hour camera.   Every now and then a chimp jumps up to the podium and relieves himself.   Sometimes all the monkeys swing in, screeching.  They gesticulate, bare their teeth, hoot and holler, fight over who sits next to whom.  Then they get bored and leave.

 

In the Reptile Chamber, 100 specimens.  Lizards to your right, turtles to your left.  They're more deliberative than the chimps, and they don't stink up the place as much.

 

More primate colony in the Galapagos than zoo.

 

Birds everywhere.  Preening, screeching, pooping.  A chorus of Blue-tied Parrots squawk: "We don't have a revenue problem, we have a spending problem," and things similar.

 

Vultures.  Buzzards.   And bad bears.   Y'know, the ones they used to exile to Hetchy Hetchy but always managed to find their way back to Yosemite.

 

There’s a zoo-within-a-zoo in the zoo that opened this morning in my mind.  Real pandas, seals, orangutans, cotton candy, a speckled bear, native Americans...

 

Eagles?  Rare sightings. Practically extinct.

 

Dodos?  As ubiquitous as pink flamingos once were in the Everglades.