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Home The Feuilleton of MilSan and MikWag
The Feuilleton of MilSan and MikWag

Serious Issues

Jonathan Alter wrote a book about Barack Obama’s first year in office called “The Promise.”  That’s a great title because it works on so many levels. For example, over the past four years, Obama’s career has been marked by a constant promise: He has continually said he is on the verge of doing something serious abut the national debt.

David Brooks, Tomorrow Never Comes, NYT Feb 18, 2011

 

David, here's an example of a good topical sentence for an opinion piece:

 

— Dude, David Brooks said “abut” in the New York Times, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh...

 

Every reader gets it, unlike your reference to a book that Beavis didn’t read.  It’s vivid, and you can go just about anywhere with it, for example,...

 

— Calm down Butthead.  You're gonna soil your drawers!

— Brooks said, “The Committee for a Responsible Federal Budget calculates that $780 billion of the proposed deficit cuts are politically dubious.”

— “Dubious” is cool.

— He said that we have deficit issues.

— He said, "issues” in the New York Times, heh, heh, heh

— And our deficit issues require a new way to think about how the government pays for social insurance.

— Like “with money”…

— He said our budget has issues too… it fails to touch the big programs.

— If the budget touched its big program, maybe its deficit would issue.

— He said, "the budget has some fine features.  But it is laughably inadequate compared with the fiscal problems before us."

— Heh, heh... Mr. Budget’s "program" is smaller than Mr. Fiscal’s "problem."

— That’s the issue, dumbass.

— He wants to rewrite our social contract too.

— Yeah, to pay for social insurance with poor people’s money.

— Poor people’s money is an oxymoron.

— Heh, heh... rich people's money must be a deoxymoron.

— He said the president’s debt commission produced a series of great conversations…

— Like the one we’re having?

— Yes, ass-wipe.

— Here’s one more before commercial break:  "Tomorrow never comes, it just promises to."

— That’s your issue, not mine, Butthead.

 

White House Remarks on Egypt: President Palin will get back to us.

The White House

Office of the Press Secretary

For Immediate Release                                                                                 February 1, 2011


Remarks by President Palin on the Situation in Egypt

Grand Foyer

 

Good evening, everybody.  Over the past few days, the American public has watched the situation developing there in Egypt.  It’s a difficult situation. This is that 3 am White House phone call that didn’t go to my answering machine, although I wish it did. We watched history unfolding in our backyard, the history that made us realize that it’s time for America to make the right choice.

I want to make a good and wise choice in terms of who we should be supporting and standing by.  All these days my administration has been studying the nitty-gritty details about who will be taking the place of MuBurka. And all these days as I am studying this, I remember that mantra that our Founding Father Reagan lived by –“Trust but check” oh… I mean “Trust, but verify.” We all want to be able to trust those who are screaming for democracy there in Egypt, that it is a true sincere desire for freedoms.

The challenge that we have though, is how do we verify what it is that we are being told, what it is that the American public is being fed via mainstream media, via the protestors, via the government there in Egypt in order for us to really have some sound information to make wise decisions on what our position is.

And as there is still information that needs to be gathered and understood as to who it will be that fills now the void in the government, let me flesh out our core principles.

First, if the Muslim Brotherhood fills the void, we should not stand for that, or with that or by that. Any radical Islamists we should not support, no, that is not who we should be supporting and standing by.

Second, we need to find out who was behind all of the turmoil and the revolt and the protests so that good decisions can be made in terms of who we will stand by and support.

Third, our Moobark, long-term friend of the American public, he’s gone, one way or the other. He is not going to be the leader of Egypt, that’s a preliminary report from my intelligent sources.  Surely they know more than the rest of us know.  I trust them, so that’s a given.

I also would like to strongly condemn violence against my former colleagues, devoted truth-seekers -- journalists of Fox News, who risked their lives to cover the upheaval with courage and commitment there in Caliphate, I mean, Cairo.

Lastly, remember, my fellow citizens, we Americans need to produce more of our own oil and gas.

And take it from a gal who knows the North Slope of Alaska: In Alaska we’ve got lots of both. Even if Egypt does not have much of gas or oil, they might acquire pipelines and find oil wells under their pyramids. And then we wouldn’t want to leave ourselves at the mercy of our foreign suppliers. We need to drill.

To tell you the truth, I'm not real enthused about what it is being done here about there in Egypt and in these other European areas that are so volatile right now, because obviously it’s not just Egypt, but the other countries, too, where we are seeing uprisings.

Furthermore, we know that, now more than ever, we need strength and sound mind here in the White House.  We need to know what it is that America stands for, so we know who it is that America will stand with. And I will get back to you on that one.

Thank you all and may God bless America.

 

President Palin exits.

A young man enters with a badge “Press Secretary.” He is new.

He closes the press conference:

Ms. President will not be taking your questions at this time. But as the new Press Secretary, I want to inform you that Todd will no longer be serving as press secretary, and that Ms. President is not planning to take any questions about the former first dude in the future.

END of transcript

 

Dave's Top 10 Questions About Confession Booth v. 2010

With the help of two priests, three young Catholic

men from South Bend, Ind., have developed an

iPhone app…to guide Catholics through confession.

It shot to global success, ranking No. 42

on the best-selling app list, according to iTunes.

Maureen Dowd, NY Times 2/9/2011

 

Dave's Top 10 Questions About Confession Booth v. 2010

 

10.  Why does the app crash when I tell it that my profession is “Wall Street Banker?”

 

9.  How come my iPhone run out of memory when I tell it I’m a politician working for Fox News?

 

8.  When I tell it that I’m an altar boy, I get a message asking me if I want to chat.  What's up with that?

 

7.  When are they going to bring back the “Indulgences” feature from v. 517?

 

6.  Can I download my sins from my Facebook page automatically?..  And is their anyway that I can add God to my Facebook friends?

 

5.  If you break all 10 Commandments, do you get any free iTunes?

 

4.  Can it calculate which Circle of Hell I belong in?  That would be cool!

 

3.  When are they going to give me a counter like in TurboTax that helps me decide which sins to report?

 

2.  Are they ever going to support my "Wait Until Last to Confess to Father that I Told x+1 Lies" strategy?

 

1.  What about voice recognition, so I can confess to onanism while I'm sinning? (My friend asked me to ask you, Father.)

 

Kristof Goes Gonzo

Submitted for your approval, the tweets of a Mr. Nicholas Kristof during Hosni Mubarak’s address, Tuesday, Feb 1:

#Mubarak says protesters were exploited by factions who wanted to loot and destroy property.  Ugh Oh.  Starting badly.

 

#Mubarak: "There are political forces that have rejected my invitation to dialogue." Hello?

 

#Mubarak: "It is not in my nature to give up responsibility." Hmm. Better develop a new nature.

 

#Mubarak: Calls for early elections, but doesn't specify when; he suggests he will stay for a few months. But nobody trusts him.

 

#Mubarak: Says he will die in Egypt. In effect, he says he won't do a Ben Ali and flee to Saudi Arabia.

 

#To me, bottom line of Mubarak speech: Too little, too late.  Upheavals will continue. Protesters want him OUT.

 

#Clueless in Cairo, and too little, too late: that's my blog take on Mubarak's speech. - http://nyti.ms/fkkxmO

 

If you wish to listen to Mr. Kristof's ongoing tweeting, which is something between Walter Cronkite and Hunter S. Thompson (but not Mark Ames), click here.  Or perhaps you would enjoy a reporter for Abu Dhabi's National who tweets here.

(Apologies  to Rod Serling)

 

The North and South Poles of the Investing World

The North and South Poles of the Investing World

 

Kansas

 

Over a third of my income gets dumped into the gaping maw of the government, with, frankly, little performance in return.  If the government were an investment, I would short it based on past, current, and anticipated performance.


While I am in favor of a basic safety net, I do not believe the government exists to “top off” the incomes of society’s failures. Yes, I said failures – defined by an inability to succeed and prosper in an environment. It is simply not my job to pay for people who unable to provide enough value to earn a middle-class income, and I find the entitlement mentality that pervades the Left to be fairly offensive. Especially when I am asked to pick up the tab.


We would do well to rediscover personal responsibility for one’s own future, for good or for ill, as well as an acceptance that for every winner, there will be a loser.

Reader-commenter QED of Kansas, NYT Feb 15, 2011

 

 

Nebraska

 

Multi-billionaire Warren Buffett has been complaining for years that his taxes are too low. Last June, he said at a fundraiser for Hillary Clinton that he was taxed at only 17.7% last year on his $46 million in income, while his secretary paid 30% of her $60,000.


"The taxation system has tilted toward the rich and away from the middle class in the last 10 years," Buffett, the nation's third richest man, told Brokaw. Buffett said he did an informal survey of federal taxes paid by his own office staff, and the average was 32.9%, compared to his 17.7%.


"There wasn't anybody in the office, from the receptionists on, that paid as low a tax rate," Buffett stated, noting that "I have no tax planning, I don't have an accountant, I don't have tax shelters."

 

"Billionaire Buffett Still Complaining His Taxes Are too Low," The Raw Story, Oct 30, 2007

 

Homo neanderthalensis representingus

Rep. Christopher Lee is a married Republican congressman serving the 26th District of New York. But when he trolls Craigslist's "Women Seeking Men" forum, he's Christopher Lee, divorced "lobbyist" and "fit fun classy guy.

Gawker.com 2/9/2011

 

Homo neanderthalensis representingus

 

“How Can I Help?

 

My office can provide a number of services to Western New Yorkers, including help with a federal agency, veteran’s services, and flag and tour requests.”

 

I am also a high-energy whirlwind of hard-bodied, world-class talent willing to go fully nude and provide a lap dance for the female or male guest of honor. Price negotiable.

 

Taken in part from the web site of U.S. Republican Congressman Christopher Lee, representing the 26th Congressional District of N.Y. [Ed: they removed the quoted text after MikWag's piece appeared]

 

Déjà vu all over again. Not being a total pervert, MikWag can’t understand what antipathy towards the EPA, women’s rights, healthcare, Social Security, afro-American presidents, and Medicare; and proclivity for eccentric sexual behavior have in common, other than deeply repressed fears, perhaps.

 

The Attack of the Mercenary Camels

"The military arrested 38 policemen & 22 citizens .. the NDP had paid them (the thugs) LE100 & LE200 to stage pro-Mubarak demonstrations"

http://twitter.com/SultanAlQassemi

 

The Attack of the Mercenary Camels

 

— The President wants you to organize fifty guys to disrupt the protest at Tahrir, — grunted the local NDP chief.

— How much is he paying?

— 10 pieces of silver.

— We’ll do it for 50.

— Do you think he is a stupid donkey?  Do it for 15.

— You are robbing me, infidel.  I lose money for less than 45.

— 20.

— No, I can’t do it.  Let the boss find some other guys by morning.

— 30.

— OK, 30 each.

— EACH!!?   You think he would sell his wife for this?

— Well, if it is of so little importance, why should I do it?

— Ok, ok.  30 each.  Grave robber!

 

xxx

 

— OK, guys, we have to disrupt the protest.  Any ideas?

— We can throw rocks…

— No, everybody does that.

— Big stones… boulders.

— Jackass!

— We can streak?

— What does it mean?

— Run naked through the protest.

— Offspring of camel dung!

— Release a cloud of locusts?

— Not bad, any other ideas?

— Let’s ride in on horses and camels, like in Lawrence of Arabia.

— Baatel! How are we going to get 50 horses past security?

— We dress them like women.

— What about the back legs?

— It can be two women carrying an oil barrel.

— OK, what about the camels?

— Maybe we don’t need camels.

— No, only a Syrian would do it without camels.

— Two tall women carrying a refrigerator?

— 10-foot tall women, donkey dropping?!!

— Sir, I have smart camels; they will find Tahrir on their own.  Nobody will suspect a stray camel.

— OK, baltagiya, we meet at 5 am for tea and finalize.  Allah Akbar.

 

xxx

 

— OK guys, here’s what we do, we ride in like in Lawrence of Arabia, all whooping and hollering.

— And then what?

Read more...
 

Which Domino Falls Next?

The elephant question that is about to enter the room: "Is the U.S. the next domino to fall?"

"Absurd!" you say.  "What do Egypt, Tunisia, Jordan, the eastern bloc, the Soviet Union have in common with current conditions in the U.S?"

Well...

 

- A government that is perceived as out of touch?  Check.

- A government that is perceived as favoring the rich?  Check.

- Corruption?  Check.

- High unemployment rate?  Check.

- Widespread use of Twitter and Facebook?  Check.

- Violations of human rights?  Check.

- Enough people with nothing to lose?  Getting there.

- A perception that elections are unfair?  Getting there.

 

If a contagion — or domino'ing — of non violent revolution washes onto our shores, I suspect it will find expression in massive, but focused, protests in favor of reproductive freedom, financial regulation, gun control, health care reform, and the need for a jobs program that improves infrastructure.  It may find expression in protests against environmental de-regulation.

Read more...