eFeuilleton

  • Increase font size
  • Default font size
  • Decrease font size
Home The Feuilleton of MilSan and MikWag
The Feuilleton of MilSan and MikWag

The Last Pharaoh - or - Cleopatra VIII?

…in Egypt thousands of people will fight for their fundamental human rights, a struggle that has very little to do with your [Americans'] opinions on anything.

Alex Pareene in Salon.com

 

Everybody should calm down, stop speculating, and consider some facts about Egypt:

 

I.  Hosni Mubarak isn’t going to step down voluntarily -- he hasn’t even begun construction of his pyramid!  A caveat: If the protesters were to form into slave brigades and start rolling 2.5 ton blocks into Liberation Square… or rename an existing one…

 

II.  If the Egyptians choose democracy, things will work out just fine.  Egyptians are at least as well informed as Americans, and -- in their favor -- have fewer guns and religious nut jobs.

 

III.  It isn’t like they've never had a revolution.  Egyptians revolted against Great Britain after WWI, and they didn’t even have to write their own Declaration of Independence.  Great Britain issued one, unilaterally, on February 22, 1922.

Read more...
 

Fast Food Times at Industry High

Mrs. Obama challenged our industry to move farther and faster providing consumers with healthier product choices and more information.”

Pamela Bailey, chief executive of the Grocery Manufacturers

Association, quoted in The NY Times, January 24, 2011


 

Hey Mikwag… If I have the choice of having the country

forced into a war with Iraq I didn't want and didn't

need, or food producers forced to label the nutritional

content of their products I'll take the latter, please.

Reader–commentor Sastrugi, NC

 

Dear esteemed reader–commentor Sastrugi,

Our motto: "Don't fawn, or flame... Feuilleton!"

MikWag

 

— Give me an Obamaburger®

— “The Surgeon General advises that it contains the recommended daily dose of threonine and vitamin M, 0.85 fat, and 0.014 kg of sodium, which may increase your risk of heart disease and obesity.”

— Hey, can McConnells TM really use the President’s name on a product?

— We live in a free country, sir!

— Will it raise my taxes?

— No, but you have to sign this acknowledgement before I can give it to you.

— OK… give me a double with Limbaugh Cheese® and a Corn-Boehner®…  Is it beef?

— 100% Pork.

— OK…   And give me the Obamachips,® a pack of Marlboros, a Cobama–Cola,® … and industry-size me®.

— That comes to 4 million, 532 thousand, 432 calories...  Er, it says that I have to check with the manager before I can you give you something like that.

— OK...

— The manager approved it, sir, but she says we are required to offer you the opportunity to purchase a side order of Obamacare.

Obamacare?  No way, man!  Haven’t you heard it’s going to kill your job?  And Glen Beck says it’s bad for my health!

 

Safe at Last, Safe at Last

By our readiness to allow arms to be purchased at will and fired

at whim... we have created an atmosphere in which

violence and hatred have become popular pastimes.

Martin Luther King

 

The second amendment of the US Constitution was ratified in 1791.  Its text reads as follows:  Amendment 2 - Right to Bear Arms.  A well-regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. Proposed 09/25/1789.  Ratified 12/15/1791.

In 1791, when the second amendment became law, America had just emerged from the War of Independence and had not yet become a strongly unified country.  The protection provided by the standing army was not reliable; the military and militia groups were mistrusted; and random attacks from bandits, even troops from other states and Indians were frequent.  None of these conditions hold today.  Every state has a National Guard, a well-trained police force, and the American military’s capabilities to defend the citizens of the country far outstrip those of any number of fully armed citizens.

 

Yet in 2011, we still have laws intended to protect former colonists from indians, state militias declaring a state of martial law, and one state invading the other.  It’s ridiculous.

 

It is a little known fact that it wasn’t until 2008 that the US Supreme Court decided a second amendment case.  In the District of Columbia v Heller, the Court ruled that the Amendment protects an individual’s right to possess a firearm unconnected with service in a militia, and to use that arm for traditionally lawful purposes, such as self-defense within the home.

 

I am not a preacher but on this day of MLK, please Make Law against Kalashnikovs (MLK) and deliver upon the potential of a democratic government to protect, provide security, make people feel safe… and wake up the nation…

 

…not by gunshots, but the voice of a reasonable dream:

 

I Have a Dream

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and decide that the second amendment should be repealed.

I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I want a government that protects.  I do not want to have a gun to make my home safe, to have to carry it when I’m outside, to be afraid that I’ll be shot by someone who should not have gotten a permit to own a gun in the first place.

I have a dream that one day the US Congress realizes that we live in the 21st century; that civilization and violence are antithetical concepts.  And I have a dream to live in a civil society.

Read more...
 

The Adventures of the Starship Enterprise

Stardate 1.05.2011

— Bridge to Captain Obama.
— Obama here.
— The Klingons have taken over the Enterprise, Captain.
— What the devil are they doing, Pelosi?
— They're reading the U.S. Constitution, Captain.
— Scotty, are they really reading the Constitution?
— Aye Captain, every word of it.
— Is that all?
— They're changing the rules so that everyone has to cite the Constitution before beaming down to the men's room.
— Anything else?
— They want to fly the Enterprise in reverse at warp speed factor 1000 to go back to 1890.
— What do you make of it, Chekhov?
— Is agitprop, Capitan... political theater... invented by little old lady in Leningrad.
— Spock?
— Fascinating… Their illogical approach to winning elections does have advantages, Captain.

 

On Constant Weading

"Is Michele Bachmann the new Sarah Palin?"

Gail Collins in the NY Times, January 28, 2011

 

 

Representative Bachmann is not the root of the problem facing this country any more than a single weed is the cause of the failure of a garden.

 

So does it make sense to put so much effort into weeding her out?

 

There is no doubt that weeding is a necessary element of gardening.  If the professional weeders at the SEC hadn’t been watching naughty.com, the garden wouldn’t be such a mess.  Ditto on the background checkers in the Great State of Arizona.

 

But is weeding the garden of Congress or even the garden of the NY Times sufficient?

 

I doubt it.  The root of the problem in a democracy is the unenlightened voter.  If too many voters are unable to think analytically or are misinformed, and if this situation persists over many election cycles, you end up with what we have today.  You end up with a Supreme Court packed with justices appointed for life by presidents of subpar intellectual ability, and those justices then rule that crop dusting of vast tracts of unenlightened voters with weed fertilizer is constitutional (in effect).

Read more...
 

I Had A Dream

— I had another dream last night, Bobby.

— I hope it wasn’t the dystopian nightmare.

— No, it was a lofty one.

— What was it about?

— I dreamed that I was giving a sermon to a congregation in Selma, then all of a sudden it was the Lincoln Memorial, then the Congress.  Abraham Lincoln was there, you, Jack, John Lennon, Gabrielle, Sarah Palin, Glen Beck, Cora, all the children.

— What were you saying?

— I was preaching about the Second Amendment to the US Constitution, it’s history, how it came to be interpreted.

— Yes, I know it by heart: Amendment 2 - Right to Bear Arms.  A well-regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. Proposed 09/25/1789.  Ratified 12/15/1791.  We’re not particular fond up here of how the Second Amendment has come to be interpreted.

Amen to that!

— Do you remember your sermon?

— It is still ringing in my ears.  I can see every word of it as if chiselled onto Lincoln's wall:

 

“I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and decide that the second amendment should be repealed.

I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I want a government that protects.  I do not want to have a gun to make my home safe, to have to carry it when I’m outside, to be afraid that I’ll be shot by someone who should not have gotten a permit to own a gun in the first place.

Read more...
 

Mourning in America

Mourning in America

 

“We’re on Sarah Palin’s targeted list,”  “But the thing is the way that she has it depicted has the cross hairs of a gun sight over our district. When people do that, they’ve got to realize there’s consequences to that.”

Gabrielle Giffords

 


I

— Let’s scare the bejesus out of everybody about death panels [SellMoreInsurancePAC]

— Our best move here is to allow corporations to donate unlimited money anonymously to political campaigns [SupremeKurt]

— I think its really imperative to try to calm things down VIDEO [DavidGergen]

— We're holding the Rally for Sanity in D.C. [sensibleJournalist]

— Put up a congressional map with targets on it [BettyBoop]

 

 

II

 

— He’s crazy.

— He’s creepy.

— He should be expelled.

— We should notify the department of mental health.

— He probably doesn’t have insurance… anyway it’s not the school's responsibility.

— Just suspend him, with a provision that we will readmit him after a mental health evaluation to cover our asses… and refer all inquiries to my office.

 

III

 

— I’m a loser.

— Hey loser!  Here’s a map with a target on it

— It’s all clear now.  I can win this game in one move!

 

IV

 

— I want to buy a Glock.

— What the devil is wrong with you man, you are drooling and twitching.

— I’ve been having a little trouble with reality.

— I hear you brother.

— And I worked the night shift, y’know, courtesy of Obamacare.

— OK, that makes sense.  Do you have a background?

— Yes.

— Had to ask.

— I need some ammo too.  Give me a couple of boxes.  Is this the kind of ammo you need to kill somebody?  Can you sell me a thirty-round clip?

— Cash or credit?

Read more...
 

New Year's Resolution-2011

— Hey, MikWag, got a New Year's resolution?

— I have more, your Eminence, than two but less than four.

— Lay them on me, dude.

— To write dialogs, Sir, prose has become for me a bore.

— I hear you, brother.

— To employ polite forms of address, Highness, as t'was done in days of yore.

— Numero 3?

— Just a moment, my little chickadee, I, do thee, implore.

— What a euphonious appellation!

— Indeed, Exaltedness, would had I used it more before.

— And for the trifecta, daddyo?

— To write less estimably than inestimable Poe...  Nevermore.